Themes Worked With

ANXIETY & DEPRESSION

Anxiety shows itself in many forms from worry to panic attacks and social anxiety, from phobias to obsessive compulsive behaviors and eating disorders. We all experience anxiety at some point especially during times of transition, but those of us who become stuck in pervasive and debilitating anxiety begin to live smaller and more insular lives with less hope and light.  Yet, treatment is effective. . .anxiety is treatable, and is often indicative of another issue all together.  I find working with therapeutic breathing and body awareness, imagery, and thought redirection as the most effective ways to begin the process of working through anxiety, while deeper issues are then uncovered and explored.

Depression can be experienced as feeling irritated, confused, miserable, deflated, immobile, dead inside. It is energy that gets stuck. . .energy that continually turns in on itself, rendering us immobile, unhappy and in pain.  Gestalt Therapy offers safe and creative tools to help move this stuck energy. From the use of imagery and metaphor that allows us to frame and assign deep meaning to our experience,  to witness consciousness which is cultivating compassion and empathy for all the parts of ourselves that make up the whole of who we are, to chairwork which is a technique by which we allow an internal conflict the space and perspective to be worked out within an external physical space in the room. Reaching out is the last thing you probably want to do, but the most important thing you can do. . . to give yourself this opportunity to heal.

BODY AWARENESS & THERAPEUTIC BREATHING

Body awareness and therapeutic breathing techniques are what allow us to slow down and notice where we are in the moment, how we feel, what is going on with us. . .it is the gift that we have access to at any moment and is at no cost.

Breathing techniques are scientifically proven to engage the parasympathetic nervous system to calm your sympathetic nervous system by bringing you out of ‘fight, flight or freeze’ into ‘rest and digest’ thus reducing your blood pressure and easing the efforts of all of the systems of the body. This is done by doubling the lengths of the exhalations(through the mouth) while allowing the inhalations(through the nose) to occur naturally in response.  Breathing is used clinically for anxiety disorders and heart disease among others.

Breath opens us up. . .can open the space for something else to happen.
To give you back the reins of the mind.

Deborah Morris Coryell

Body awareness brings our attention to how we experience ourselves in a fuller sense, including not just our mind, but our physical body and presence.  As we begin to listen to ourselves in a new way we notice sensations, emotional feelings and memory in our bodies through our sensate and kinesthetic experience, that we then name cognitively. We have access to know ourselves.  This knowing allows us to then be aware how to manage our feelings and behaviors appropriately within the various environments we move through.   Our body is the container with which we experience life and allows us to see wee where we are in the world.

How we process information is related not just to our brains but to our entire body.
We use every system available to us to come to a conclusion and make sense of what is going on.

Nils B. Postman, University of Amsterdam,
Natalia Angier, Science, NY Times, 2/1/2010

RELATIONSHIP BUILDING, BOUNDARIES, & INTIMACY

Relationship building, boundaries and intimacy are what allow for healthy and satisfying long-term partnerships.  From birth we form attachments to our caregivers that set the stage, along with our temperament, for the type of relationships we might gravitate toward.  We also learn by example of the elders in our childhood homes to hold specific boundaries(how far we give of ourselves and let others in) with others and within specific situations.  And sometimes these boundaries become unclear, violated, hard to hold, or even unknown.  Therapeutic process allows you to understand your attachments and boundaries. . .effectively where you are within your relationships.

Indeed, relationships are complicated and not just with partners, but family(yep!), friends and those at work.  It is an art, being in a healthy relationship, a beautiful exchange, a balance of boundaries between autonomy and connection.  And learning to embrace the moments of coming together, and then tolerating the moments of moving apart is natural and required. Much like the movement of breath, in and out. . .away and toward.

THE FEMALE EXPERIENCE & BODY IMAGE

How might your life have been different if there had been a place for you. . .
a place of women, where you were received and affirmed?

A place were other women, perhaps somewhat older, had been affirmed before you,
each in her time, affirmed, as she struggled to become more truly herself.

A place where, after the fires were lighted, and the drumming, and the silence,
there would be a hush of expectancy filling the entire chamber. . .
a knowing that each woman there was leaving old conformity to find her self. . .
a sense that all womanhood stood on a threshold.

And if, during the hush, the other women, slightly older, had helped you
to trust your own becoming. . .to trust it and quietly and prayerfully to nurture it. . .

How might you life be different?

Judith Duerk

This piece is a beautiful written commentary on the female experience present day, in comparison to tribal times when we lived and worked in community.  In my work I hope to create such a space for the expansion and declaration of the healthy and respected female experience, individually and in womens’ groups.  Unfortunately, in 2016 young girls and young women still defer to their male counterparts, and are sexualized and objectified at much younger ages in our culture which puts them at risk for assault and sometimes horribly worse.

Body image distortions that are unrealistic and dangerous are somewhat understandable within this misguided cultural context, and occur within all gender identified groups. Body image issues are directly supported by Gestalt Psychotherapy in a way that other traditional psychotherapies do not. Gestalt theory is a wholistic one where the entire individual is represented, where the body is looked to as a invaluable instrument of communication, process, and a canvas for healing.

CHILDBIRTH, MOTHERING, & PARENTING

Childbirth. . .although I do not think the following piece was necessarily intended to represent the wonder of birthing a child, I believe it says it all.

there is a brokenness out of which comes the unbroken,
a shatterdness out of which comes the unshatterable

there is a sorrow beyond all grief which leads to joy,
and a fragility out of whose depths emerges strength

there is a hollow space too vast for words through which we pass with each loss,
out of whose darkness we are sanctioned into being

there is a cry deeper than all sound whose serrated edges cut the heart,
as we break open to the place inside which is unbreakable. . . .
and the whole while learning to sing.

Rashani

Mothering, indeed an unparalleled rite of passage and stunningly expansive path that fills your heart with love that is indescribable. . . it also is a daunting, overwhelming, all-encompassing, mind-numbing, one of loss and being pulled apart.  And to deny yourself the reality of the entirety of the experience is to perpetuate the secret that all mothers must bare, and often alone. So stand up loud and proud. . .sometimes this sucks!  *Mothering is having your heart broken-open and never truly recovering.  So, allow yourself the support to replenish the well, because even when we fill the well it feels like we do so with a mere teaspoon. Children need our life force to grow.

Parenting. . .ditto to child birth and mothering.  For those parents who give their lives to children, deserve the space to say, I am depleted and need support! Children need our life force to grow.

SEPARATION & DIVORCE

Separation and divorce can be such a deeply painful experience that is very specific to ending the union of a marriage and/or a family unit. The hurt and pain and recovery can last for many years beyond what you might imagine. Support is of much benefit during these times, especially so when children are involved as they are very emotionally and psychologically vulnerable.  As we know the energy required to raise children outside of family strife is enormous (see above), during separation and divorce when they need you the most, you may not have it to give.  Allow yourself and your family the assistance. . .to truly mourn and rebuild is a process.

LOSS & MOURNING, DEATH & DYING

Loss and mourning effect us throughout our lives, and not just when we are faced with death and dying. We travel through the process of loss and letting go when ending a marriage (including children and pets), relationship (with a partner or best friend), when we move city or country, when our child goes off to college, when faced with a debilitating illness, or a devastating job loss, or weaning a nursing baby and going back to work.  We must allow ourselves to mourn and let go of difficult endings. . .to forgive ourselves in order to move on.

Death and dying. . .the death of a beloved one can feel literally too much to bear.  I know.  You can withstand the pain. Often with support and a safe space to move through your feelings, and personal space to continue to explore your relationship with your loved one, the process of grief is at least somewhat eased.  There is no recipe or correct way to mourn.  There is no distinct path to travel or linear stages to pass through.  Yet there is an active process of mourning, to be present in the face of grief.  To bear your pain it not only get through it, but as bearing children or bearing fruit, means that something new is born from it. Wholeness and healing arises from loss and mourning when we allow ourselves to stay with our feelings and our process and ultimately our beloved.

 ADDICTIVE PATTERNS & BEHAVIORS

Addictive behaviors that become entrenched patterns can be likened to running away while standing still. As much as you try, you can’t get away, or in fact. . .go anywhere.  When these patterns become severe they begin to impede your health, and erode your relationships, and effect your ability to work, and financially stay afloat, and function all together.  You can lose everything in what feels like a moment.

I work within a Harm Reduction framework with issues of addictive behaviors and patterns no matter how seemingly mild (non-substance related addictive behaviors) to moderate and severe.  Harm Reduction is not an abstinence-only treatment, which is a relief for many, but is focused on defining the harm that the substance and the use of the substance is inflicting and reducing said harm.  This treatment is a psychotherapeutic model where in which the whole person is explored much in the way of Gestalt.  The client is active in the stages of change by using curiosity, self-reflective awareness including: tolerating the waves of feelings (cravings) and subsequent thoughts (self calming dialogue) and behaviors (slow breathing/relaxation). Because of the sense of ownership of the client’s own healing process, and the lack of shame of failure inherent in the Harm Reduction model, I see a more positive outcome in my practice using this method to allow for effective behavior change.

DEVELOPMENTAL MILESTONES & TRANSITIONS

Developmental milestones and transitions are prevalent throughout all aspects of our lives.  The cornerstones and experiences of our childhood and adolescence usually centered around our family and community, bring with them the formation of the framework of how we see the world, what we expect of others, and how we engage with our environment.

As we transition from our family of origin to young adulthood, schooling and/or the workplace, we learn about our Self with each relationship as it mirrors aspects of who we are.  We can chose to claim or modify what we find. . .learning to solidify our sense of Self while still remaining connected to the family home.

In adulthood we learn to claim more of who we are. . .we can then share that Self with others on a deeper level, intimately both emotionally and sexually in longer term relationships. Our relationships to our professional life and purpose, and with colleagues will also deepen and grow.

As we become more rooted in the world, we may choose to extend our presence further by having children or ground more into a art form, vocation or cause. Should we chose children, we are presented with one of the most challenging milestones in adulthood. . . parenting while navigating a marriage/relationship and  a career/vocation.  Amidst the beauty of a new baby, the pressure of raising children while navigating careers can take quite a toll on a marriage. This becomes even more complicated and difficult when that includes caring for aging parents.

Learning to ride our individual waves of feelings, experiences, and needs while maintaining intimacy and healthy boundaries with our partners, children, family, friends and co-workers, is a grand task that can result in a fulfilling life. One that we all aspire too, because yes it is possible to achieve:)